Searching for Angels: Stabbing in the Heart
by diago
Summary: Aragorn faces the fact that Arwen has left, and his feelings for Eowyn. Legolas comforts. Not slash. PG


Searching for Angels: Part One  
Stabbing in the Heart  
  
Author- Elf (blue_fuzzy_elf_girl)  
  
Disclaimer- I do not own any of the the characters, but if they need someone to take them off their hands, I'd take Legolas, Aragorn, Eowyn, and/or Pippin. We'd have a party, and ride horses, and they'd teach me how to swordfight, and use a bow and arrow.anyway.  
  
Summary- Aragorn faces the fact that Arwen is gone, and his feelings for Eowyn. Legolas comfort and lends a listening ear. Not Slash. PG  
  
I stare at her as she says, "Where is she?" I think that maybe, just maybe, that it is a good luck charm, anything, just as long as she doesn't think.  
  
She thinks I didn't hear her well, so she repeats the question. What was once a small arrow wound though my heart, it was nothing compaired to the dull ax that hacked through it now. I look away, remembering her beautiful face. How I miss those gentle eyes of a female deer, that would look into me and see my soul, make me forget any pain. I do not cry, for the people of Rohan's sake. I don't look at her as I say, "She is sailing on the ship that leads to where life is perfect and never ending." *She deserves it* I think as I continue walking. I know she is confused at first, but then realizes with sympathetic eyes. I walk ahead. Sympathy is something I cannot afford to have at a moment like this.  
  
It is nightfall, and we have stopped. The villagers are not used to constant walking on hard turrain, and could have walked another step if we asked it of them. I decide to take scout, Legolas with me. Gimli mumbled something about coming too, right before he fell asleep standing up. Poor little dwarf. He has been worked so hard.  
  
Some looked at me oddly when I volunteered as scout. "Surely, you want to rest," Eowyn says, voicing their thoughts. "You've been walking hard all day, and times before that. I am sure I heard Gimli say that you have not rested for three days."  
  
I force a half-smile, which calms her. "I cannot sleep while I orcs run wild. I feel I must stay watch." I lead her to her bedroll. "As for you, my lady, it is best if you sleep. You've been far too on-edge today, and worked harder than a lady should," I said, tucking her in and playfully shook a finger at her. "If you're not careful," I said in a teasing voice, "You will make lines all over that pretty little face of yours."  
  
She gently slapped my arm, but yawned, her eyes turning heavy. "Well, be careful. I will be *quite* put out if you decide to go and die on me."  
  
I bowed to her, hiding a rogue smile that I didn't have to fake. "You have my word, my lady."  
  
As I ride next to my friend, it is an uncomfortable silence. He continually opens and closes his mouth, before finally saying he says, "It is not the orcs that keep you awake, is it, my friend."  
  
I am taken aback by his comment, and though I try not to show it, I believe it only makes it worse. "Uh.no."  
  
He shakes his head as he chuckles. "Only women can make Aragorn falter in his speech." He quickly turns serious, and his elf eye search into mine. "But for what woman I cannot tell."  
  
I scoff, turning red, as I know exactly what he means. "I, uh, don't know what you're talking about." He smiles again, and I know he has caught me yet again.  
  
"So.you have feelings for Eowyn." He nods as I shake my head. "No, well, I do have feelings for her, of course, but, ah." I scratch my head. "We're just friends."  
  
"Ah. I see." He looks me straight in the eyes, totally straight faced, tone unwavered as he says, "Good. You won't mind if I persue her, then."  
  
I gag on the piece of jerky I had been knawing on, and almost fall off my horse. Legolas snorts. "Very dignified indeed, Aragorn. I'm sure you'll sweep her off her feet."  
  
We both unhorse, and sit back to back, staring up at stars. I offer him my jerky, the piece I tore off in my mouth. He takes it and I can hear him chewing delicatly. Normally, I would do the same, but I was with only Legolas, and I was to busy thinking about other things to worry about eddiquite.  
  
I lean back, our heads touching as we look at the beautiful stars. A quick flashback of Legolas, Arwen, and myself laying on our backs as children, searching out constallations.  
  
"Legolas, what am I going to do? I can't do anything without thinking of her. Every time I close my eyes, I see her. I try to block her out, block everything out, but she's the only thing that comes in, so I work harder." I let out a ragged breath. "Legolas," I say, a tear running down my face. "What am I going to do. I feel like I'm going to die. Death would be welcome instead of this slow torture. It's as if a thousand daggers are stabbing me in the heart."  
  
***  
  
Hearing his voice crack, I turn to see my friend, the man who is so close to being a brother, crying. I turn and put my arms around him, rubbing my back as he sobs.  
  
I strikes me, just now, how similar males are in all races. All brought to their knees by women, too proud to show anyone their hurting when they are ready to die, and how truly vunerable they can be, when you finally get them to admit it.  
  
His tears slow, and he hiccups like a child. I pat his back, smiling at him as he lifts his head from my now-soaked shoulder. "Better?"  
  
He nods and I rub his shoulder, waiting for him to talk. Finally, he opens his mouth. "Even though I know that Arwen is leaving, I feel guilty for my feelings for Eowyn. More than that," he stops, voice faultering again. "I'm afraid that Eowyn will leave me." He stands up and walks around, contenuing to talk. "The last thing she ever said to me was, "If you have nothing else to believe in, believe in us." He looks over the edge of the cliff. "Now that we are no more, what do I have to believe in? My life is unraveling. The fellowship breaking, Baromir's death, losing her." he lets out a wry chuckle. "Sometimes I wish I'd never saved those little hobits, that night at the Prancing Pony."  
  
I stare, shocked at the words my friend had just uttered. To my surprise, he only grows more violent.  
  
"How could you do this to me?" he yells over the cliff, over the lands that streach so far, not even I could see the horizon. "You told me you'd never leave me! You lied to me, you bloody elf!" I was, for a moment, offended, but I quickly went back to worrying as he hurled a large rock over the side. "You lied, Arwen! You ruined my life! I wish I'd never met you!" he screamed over. I stood next to him, trying to grab his arms, but he shook me off. I nervously watched as he teteered, litterally teteered, on the edge. "You told me to always believe in us! Well, I did. Now I don't have anything left to believe in."  
  
He calmed down, nearly falling over as four day's worth of exaustion caught up with him. I grabbed him, picked him up, much to his surprise, and carried him to a grassy ground. "I'm taking you back to camp, Aragorn. You're exhusted." I saw some blood on his pants leg, and removed his boot, astounded to find several sharp stones in his boot.  
  
"Aragorn! What in the world?"  
  
He smiled sheepishly. "So that's what that was."  
  
I growled at him slightly, turning into an angry mother hen.  
  
"Come on, Aragorn, you're going to bed, and you're not getting up unless it's absolutely nessesary." He winced as I said it, but I paid no attention, putting him on my horse, then jumping on the back. As we rode, his head bobbed slightly, as he tried to refuse sleep. Just before he finally dozed off, I said, "For what it's worth, I hope you know you can believe in me. I've been your friend for eighty years, I don't entend to stop now."  
  
He nodded and grinned. "Thank you, Legolas." His head fell foreward, as he fell asleep. 


End file.
